The Angry Fan
by AthenaPersephone14
Summary: I got really fed up with Ian so I decided to write it. Basically, an angry fan coughmecough makes Amy and Ian talk things out.


**This is the product of my being extremely angry and frustrated at Ian Kabra.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Attack**

Ian Kabra strolled down the busy London street not knowing that his life was going to change forever. He never saw her coming. One moment he was ambling along, blissfully unaware and the next he was laying facedown on the ground of a nearby alleyway.

He felt himself jerked around and in a few seconds he was looking into the face of girl around his age. She had short dark, hair and pale skin. "How could you!?" She shrieked, spraying Ian with more then her words. "How could you just let your mom do that?!"

"What? I don't understand-"

"HOW!" The strange girl was waving her arms and looking at him with an expression of utmost horror and rage. "How could you betray her like that?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Suddenly the girl reared back and punched him. "That was for Amy!"

"Owww! What the-" But, Ian didn't get the chance to finish; the girl clocked him in the stomach. "What was that for!?"

"I told you it was for Amy!"

"Amy! Why would you be punching me for Amy?!"

"Because you deserve it!" The girl tried to punch him but Ian caught her wrist and held it tight. "Why re you doing this?! Did Amy send yo- Owww!" The girl had kicked him in the shin. "No Amy did not send me! She's too sweet to send me to do something like this! No, I was sent…no elected by the fans of The 39 Clues!" She reached into her coat and whipped a thin, brown book entitled "The Viper's Nest."

"to knock some sense into you!" But, Ian wasn't listening. He was staring intently at the book. Did it say….The 39 Clues? Wait a minute! Didn't that girl say "…the fans of The 39 Clues"?! Suddenly, he was very interested in what she had to say.

"….have been diligently waiting for you to get your rear in gear and realize your true feelings for Amy!" His true feelings for Amy????? Waiting diligently???? Now, Ian was very confused. "But nooooo! Instead you had to let your precious mother try to feed her to the sharks! And don't even get me started on when she tried to throw Dan into the propeller! You turned the propeller on! ON! But the worst by faaaaaar was when you-"

"How do you know these things!?" At this outburst, she grinned evilly. "Oh, I know a lot of things about you Ian Kabra. A lot."

"What do you me-"

"For example, I know that you love the color pink; that's why you were so upset when your butt-ugly underwear got ripped up by Alistair's dog in the third book! And-"

"How-?"

"I also know about the time Hamilton Holt creamed you with meat pies!"

"That's hardly the-"

"And I know how you abandoned Amy in South Korea."

Silence. For once in his life, Ian Kabra was inarticulate. He simply had no idea about how to respond. It was true, though. He _had_ left Amy to die in South Korea. Not to mention her brother. Alistair Oh? Ian didn't care about him. But Amy?

"Ha ha! I knew it!" Ian glanced over in surprise to see that the strange girl fanning herself excitedly. "Ian loves Amy! Ian loves Amy! Ian LOVES AMY! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What?! Me? I never said…!"

"Ian! You. Are. An. Open. Book.! Figuratively and somewhat literally! And I can see, plain as day! That. You. Love. Amy. Cahill!" With that said, the girl placed her hands on his shoulders and shook him. "Get. That. Through. Your. Head! You. Love. Amy. Cahill!" She looked like she would stop at nothing, so Ian decided to finally giver her what she wanted. "Okay, fine. I'll admit it. I do love Amy."

The girl looked like she was going to pass out. "Why haven't you told her!? She's been pining after you for months! How could you leave her in the dark like that?! You have to tell her!"

Ian suddenly looked horrified. "I can't tell her! She hates me! And after what I've done I can't blame her." He sank dejectedly to a step built into the alley's wall. The girl plopped down next to him and replied, "Oh she doesn't hate you _that_ much."

"South Korea? The sharks? The plane propeller?"

"Details! Details!" She waved her hand dismissively, as if that would clear it all up. "She probably never wants to see me again."

"Well," answered the girl, who promptly stood up wiped the dirt off her butt. "that's not an option."

"What do you-" Ian didn't get to finish because suddenly Amy stepped into the alleyway.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Talking It Out**

"Look, what am I do-What's HE doing here!" Amy pointed an accusing finger at Ian. She glared at him a moment more before whirling on the girl. "When you called me, you said that there was an exclusive first-edition copy of 'The Turn of the Screw' at a bookstore right here!" Amy jabbed her finger at the building who's step Ian was sitting on.

"But do I find a bookstore? No! I find a processed meat plant! And then I here two people yelling at each other, so I come around to the alley and I see you!" She shoved her finger in Ian's direction. "I am SO outta here!" Amy turned around to stalk away but was instead tackled to the ground by the mysterious girl.

"Oh no you don't!" She dragged Amy over to Ian and sat her right next to him. "You are going to tell him why you are mad at him." Then she turned her attention to Ian. "And _you_ are going to apologize. And somewhere in this talk, you are going to confess your love for one another and get together." The girl finished triumphantly.

"WHAT?!" Both of the captives screamed at the same time. "You can't be…?"

"Love him? You've got to be…" Replies like this rang throughout the alleyway. But the girl just smiled. "No, I'm perfectly serious. You guys are going to have a nice, heart-felt, deep discussion."

"But what if we don't want to?" Amy spat out venomously. "You really don't have much of a choice. You see, if you don't agree to have this chat, people are going to be really angry. _Really_ angry. So….you get my drift?"

"You're saying that people are going to be mad if I don't talk to Ian?"

"Give the girl a prize! Us 39 Clues fans have been waiting for this moment for a long time. The time you and Ian would finally get together…Anyway, you'd better not mess this up." She started to walk away but turned around at the mouth of the alley to call out, "Don't even think of running away! I'll be watching!" And with that she was gone.

Amy turned to Ian, a puzzled look on her face. "Is she always like that?"

"Cryptic and queer? Yes." Both were silent for a moment before Ian said, "Then again, I don't really know her. She randomly tackled me and dragged me into this alleyway."

"She tackled you?" Amy asked, the beginnings of a laugh bubbling in her throat.

"Hey! She tackled you too!" Ian lightly punched Amy on the arm, but she balked, her anger and awareness returning in an instant. "Sorry," the boy muttered staring at the ground.

"You should be! Don't touch me." She turned her back to him and stared furiously at the ground. No one spoke for a long time. Finally Amy broke the ice by asking "Do you think it's safe to go yet?" Ian scanned the perimeter until, across the street, he found what he was looking for.

"Don't look," he whispered to his companion. "But across the street in that apartment building in the top room on the left side, the girl is watching us through the window."

"Wow, she really was serious about getting us together. Maybe we should just pretend to have a deep and heart-felt discussion." Ian agreed and so the two launched into what they hoped was a deep sounding chat.

"So, Amy, come here often?" The girl looked at him like he was crazy. "Yeah, you got me. I live here. Didn't you here me say I was coming here for a rare first-edition copy of 'The Turn of the Screw'?"

"Whoa, Amy! Calm down! We're supposed to be confessing our undying love here! Not killing each other." She sighed. "You're right, Ian. It's just that I'm not exactly comfortable with…."

"Me."

"Yeah." Another long silence. "Okay, this is pointless." Amy announced after the long gap in conversation. "Either we sit down and make up and clean our slates, or we agree never to see each other again. I personally would like…" at this point she went scarlet. "I…um…"

"What do you want, Amy?" Ian whispered. She didn't answer so the boy asked again, "What do you want Amy?" Amy turned her back to him and answered, "I want my heart back."

"What do you mean?" She repeated herself, "I said I want my heart back. You stole it and I want it back."

"I don't understand. What are you talking about, Amy?" When she answered it was through a cracked voice. "I-I don't want to love you. But it's…it's…" Amy trailed off letting her words hang in the air. Ian didn't know what to do so he did the only thing he could. He gently turned her around so that he could look into her deep, jade eyes. "Amy, I don't think I can give you my heart back…But I can give you mine." And then he kissed her.

* * *

If Amy or Ian had bothered to look up at the top room on the left side of the apartment building across the street, they would've seen the silhouette of a girl dancing for joy. But they didn't. And they never saw her again.


End file.
